"Self improvement is masturbation, self destruction is the answer"
Let me tell you my opinion about how can
- chasing success, fame
- getting your ass in shape
- learning how to become a photoshop ninja
- working out to get six pack
- learning all night long flexing your brain
- making as much money as you are able to
- working on getting the best grades at school (and more…)
be the biggest weakness and failure of your life.
One of the most baffling quote in one of my (and I’m sure many other people’s) all time favorite movie, the Fight Club is:
Self-developement is masturbation, now self destruction…(is the answer)
At first sight it seems to exceptionally destructive, and drives us on the wrong way easily without any explanation, so let’s have a look at it. Of course, nobody might know what the writer / director meant exactly (maybe not even they), but here is my solution related to my experiences.
Since I have changed my viewpoints about time management and personal development (be harder better faster stronger…with actions not plans), my eyes have opened wider to spot more and more people in my environment more accurately, who are eager to develop themselves in any aspects with passion and who are seem to be someones who found their way. Maybe the world is changing, maybe I just used to be blind, or maybe it’s a pink fog around me but as I see giving shit about your own potential and talent is getting more popular among people, which fondles my soul.
However, productivity does not equal happiness. Sure, it’s a nice thing, but definitely not enough. I should say it is necessary but not satisfactory. Doing the right workout plan to get in shape and stay super sexy may not particularly mean happiness to everyone. Neither having good grades, having much money, nor making a nice family.
Have you ever met people who were working so hard on something and at the end they didn’t end up satisfied? Have you ever met students (with good grades for instance) who had no idea when they were doing on their courses? Or student athletes who have been doing some sports for years and having nice body because of that, but still not being happy? Have you seen men with good salary and suspiciously idealistic family, who definitely didn’t seem one who found what he was looking for?
There are many productive and seemingly successful people are out there, who are not satisfied for some reason, who are something wrong with, despite the fact that they are actually doing something “right”. Why?
Sure the answer can be found in the motivation, in one’s impulse.
So many labels have been put on me during my lifetime by my entire environment; by my parents, by my friends, by my girlfriend, by the teachers and so on, which is obviously natural and understandable. But if you are not aware they might influence you too much, and you might start to act according to them. Well this is my advise:
But don’t take those shit. You have to define yourself, don’t let others do.
At some point you have to make a decision, and think over turning 180 degrees. You have to consider that all the things you have been thinking about yourself, all the things you have been heard from parents, friends and everyone might be wrong and false. Everything. You should consider to start over from zero, like you were just born.
It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything…
Fortunately, you don’t (necessarily) have to get your house exploded, or burn your skin to start thinking over from your deep core identity. This is when traveling comes into play.
The biggest influence on my life (so far) was definitely traveling. Specially traveling alone. Because when you get into a completely new environment, with completely new people, that’s the point when you get rid off all of your labels. That’s when you are not anymore the one who you used be, but who you are at the moment. People have no idea who you were before, or what have you done. They just see the present.
Specially when traveling a lot, because it is a little bit like dying and being reborn over and over again. When you get far away from everything you got used to, and when you break out completely your comfort zone, that you can feel independence, when you don’t have any labels, nor chains. Might sound cheesy but again: when you loose everything, you become completely independent.
Being away from your friends, parents, and redefining yourself does not necessarily mean that everything you used to have or know before was wrong, so please don’t get the message wrong. It is not about changing every single aspect of your life, but to consider it as a possible option.
That’s what traveling helps in. To think it over, to start it over. To step back and see the whole picture by yourself.
Thats why travelers are so open minded. Girls and boys, everyone I have met who has been traveling around was so inspirational and motivating because of their self confidence. When somebody stops trying to impress others, he/she stops being selfish as well.
I believe that there is an “inside happiness” which I started to feel in the last years. Which comes from your real core inside, and fills you up and makes you smile very “smoothly and silently”. It is easily recognizable by not feeling the need to share your experiences. What’s more, maybe you don’t want to share it all because it feels so unique and you feel it your own so much.
(Of sure sharing with close friends, and girlfriends is nice, but that’s a completely different story, when I share something personal with my closest friends then it is not about me but them. I respect them enough to share my personal achievements, as I count on them, on their support and opinion.
Sharing every moment of your life on social media is a society sickness made by fancy marketing-leader companies. But that’s an other story again.)
At the point when you don’t feel the need to impress others by your fantastic experiences because having them for yourself is enough and more valuable, and you feel and know that the only person you have to impress is yourself, you start feeling inside that complete happiness and satisfaction.
But to achieve that, you have to get back to your real inside core, pure personality which is not easy at all. Staying in your comfort zone and in the same atmosphere which you have been into for decades does not help for sure. I am not saying traveling is the only way to find yourself, but being alone for a longer term could be more constructive than you might think.
Sooner or later people just stop giving shit about the plastic and decoration, about who’s cool and who’s not. Or what’s even better you stop giving shit about what people are giving shit about.
And if you succeed you might end up not being afraid to show and share yourself including your tries, failures and your vulnerabilities as well because you know that it is only your effort what matters, nothing else.
The entire life is a fucking beauty contest. We go to school, then college, then work. Fuck them! Do what you love, fuck the rest!